Some sort of WWIII comedy novel.


The airbase was unusually active that morning. Either a lot of units were mobilising, or a lot of soldiers were doing their best to look busy. Thaddeus pulled on the peak of his cap and watched a mini convoy pass him by. A few trucks loaded with soldiers and a few crates of gear. He wondered where they were going. It was Thaddeus’ grandfather who had said, “The easiest way to see the world is to join the forces. Though you’re likely to get shot at a few times. Nothing in this life is free.”

Thaddeus ducked into an office, eyes adjusting to the relative gloom. He immediately came face to face with a secretary, typing away frantically at a computer. He stood politely for a handful of seconds before he opted for the slightly less polite cough. The secretary looked up at him with an expressionless face.

‘Yes,’ she…

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Clean out Your Dead, We Have a Planet to Save.

‘Slap my corpse if you want; mutilate it if you will. It matters not to me — I’m dead, I’m not using it anymore.’The Spectre of Jimmy Savile, 2020. Cemeteries bring me peace. I think this is because, like every other member of my generation, I long for the Eternal Sleep. The dead have it… Continue reading Clean out Your Dead, We Have a Planet to Save.

Descriptions of Paintings

When I am not busy living as the reincarnation of both Orwell and Voltaire I like to paint. Whether painting likes me is a different matter. It is hard to describe what my style is. One person, to whom I showed my work in a rare attempt at being friendly, described it as having “a… Continue reading Descriptions of Paintings

Contrary to National Stereotypes, I Have No Desire to Discuss the Weather.

A few days ago, EntirelyForced posted a blog. This itself is not a shock. This is, after all, a website that leans towards blogging. What was a surprise, for this particular poster, was that I agreed with the bulk of his statements. Not all, of course; his penchant for wearing odd socks marks him as… Continue reading Contrary to National Stereotypes, I Have No Desire to Discuss the Weather.

The Rest Day

Since time immemorial, and probably a bit before then, too, Sunday has been the rest day. A day for sitting around doing absolutely nothing. Unless you’re one of those who cannot manage their time correctly. If you are one of those, Sunday is a frantic day filled with preparing paperwork for Monday, possibly going shopping… Continue reading The Rest Day

Trending Trends

I am a slave to trends. Though I may push the image of a contrarian on the outskirts of society, I, like every other outsider, wish for nothing else than to fit in. Conforming seems such an easier way to live life. Doing what other people say without fuss or bother, and being rewarded for… Continue reading Trending Trends

A Nicer Cup of Tea

For a brief period in the early twentieth century, God himself descendent from the heavens and took on a mortal form. In this guise, he adopted the name George Orwell. When not starting fights with wildlife and Oxford professors, George Orwell loved nothing more than A Nice Cup of Tea. In an articled published in… Continue reading A Nicer Cup of Tea

Boo, Authority. Boo!

I have an issue with authority. Not in the sense that I am some hardened criminal who regularly flouts the law; though, if I were, I would not mention that in such a public setting. No: when it comes to me, I have a simple dislike of being told what to do. Sometimes I still… Continue reading Boo, Authority. Boo!

On the Origins of Namesies

For some unknown reason there are people out there who to wish know what their ancestors were like. Who Do You Think You Are? remains popular well into its seventeenth series (or season, if you’re an American). Barely five minutes passes on the television before something pops up from Ancestry wherein some man with a… Continue reading On the Origins of Namesies