An Idiot reflects on his own Idiocy.


I believe it was Diogenes who first said, ‘Fuck it; what’s the point?’ before climbing back into his jar.

Throughout the course of my life, I have managed to convince people that I am not an idiot. My lost and vacant stare is often mistaken for thoughtfulness. Very rarely, I say something that incorrectly gets labelled as witty. The trick there is to never stop talking. Speak enough bollocks, some of it will be able to pass itself off as something other than bollocks. The fact of the matter is, I am an idiot. The only person who truly understands my level of idiocy is me.

Take my job for example. A marketing man. I don’t know how I got this job and I’m largely left to my own devices, which tends to consist of looking vacant and talking bollocks. Imagine my surprise when a few months into the job…

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